


Nine Lives (and then some)

by reignofdreams



Series: FFXIV Write 2020 [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Ambiguous Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Angst and Feels, Implied Relationships, Introspection, Other, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Tumblr: FFXIVwrite2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26360797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reignofdreams/pseuds/reignofdreams
Summary: Days, years, decades...time passes and still the Exarch waits.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch & Warrior of Light, G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: FFXIV Write 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907458
Kudos: 13
Collections: #FFxivWrite2020 Final Fantasy 30 Day Writing Challenge





	Nine Lives (and then some)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Fill #7 - Nonagenarian 
> 
> For the [FFXIV Write 2020 challenge](https://ffxiv-write.carrd.co/).
> 
> This one got a bit longer than expected, but G'raha has a lot to think about at any given time. I may have been thinking of my WoL, C'tala, when I wrote this, but can be read as ambiguous nonetheless. Hope you enjoy <3

“Twelve above, G’raha!” Rammbroes is storming his way and G’raha is already bracing himself for the incoming lecture. “What were you thinking?!”

G’raha stands a bit straighter, trying to present an air of confidence. The nervous swishing of his tail gives him away, despite his efforts to still it. “We needed that information,” he replies, tone unintentionally defensive. “I knew what to look for and where to find it. It was only logical that I retrieve it before our window of opportunity slipped past.”

Rammbroes grinds his teeth in frustration. “We only just arrived. You had no idea if it was safe to go in there, and yet you rushed off. By yourself, no less!”

“I am fully capable of-”

“It was reckless and irresponsible!” Rammbroes shouts. “I am responsible for the safety of every member on this expedition,  _ including _ consultants, and I cannot do that if you rush off half-cocked on your own.”

G’raha flinches, ears pinning back.

Rammbroes’s gaze softens as he releases a put upon sigh. The roegadyn reaches out, resting a heavy palm on G’raha’s shoulder. “I do not doubt your knowledge or your skill with that bow,” he reassures. “But do not let youthful fire burn away all good sense. You may have nine lives, but there is no need to waste them.”

* * *

Nine lives, just a silly little hyperbole.

And yet, the Exarch can’t help but huff with wry amusement at that apropos comment now. Rammbroes could not have predicted how true his words would become. Three quarters of a century since he arrived here on the First, and he is  _ still _ waiting for the right moment to summon the Warrior of Light. That time could be tomorrow or it could be decades away, the fluctuation of the rift too volatile to predict more than a few weeks at a time. 

His nameday is today, if he has been tracking time correctly. Discounting the centuries he spent in stasis he should be turning ninety-eight today...or is it ninety-nine? The Exarch shakes his head and laughs, the sound more self-deprecating than humorous. This is what he has become, an old man in spirit if not in body, looking back on days long past and wondering where time has gone.

When he was younger, he could never have believed himself capable of this sort of waiting. Hot-headed with something to prove, yearning for adventure and burning to leave his mark. He sealed himself away for the greater good, believing that although his heart weighed heavy with regret, he would wake to a future of progress and hope. Time truly made a fool of him.

The loneliness, however, is one thing that has not changed. Growing up set apart by his Allagan heritage, burying himself in his studies, his single-minded pursuit of answers...he had few friends, and even fewer with whom he could confide in. And those few he cherished well, he knew what he was giving up when those doors shut behind him. Here and now, with a city full of people who look to him for leadership he still feels utterly alone. Even Lyna, dear to him as she is, does not and cannot know the heart of him. If all goes to plan, that will remain true even unto his death.

The Exarch shakes his head, rising from his place amongst towering stacks of books in the Umbilicus. He groans as stiff muscles protest his extended stillness, crystal crackling in uncomfortable reminder that he is certainly not the man he once was. He tries not to dwell on the thought too deeply, not today when his musings are already so maudlin. Catching sight of himself reflected in crystal walls, he takes in the fading ends of his hair and the tighter set to his jaw, endeavors to ignore the blue that creeps up his neck. He fails of course, trying instead to convince himself that it is  _ good  _ that he is not the same.

G’raha Tia was naive. A fool blinded by heroic aspirations and nebulous dreams of bright futures. Instead he woke to death and despair, hope barely more than a candle sputtering on its last wick in the otherwise smothering darkness. A world tearing itself apart and the Warrior,  _ his  _ Warrior…

He had not left the tower for days after learning of their death. Hearing the circumstances surrounding their loss, knowing that the one who had inspired him to greater heights, who had awoken in him a longing for not just adventure, but companionship had been...he told those who woke him that he needed to acclimate after centuries in stasis. In truth, he had locked himself away in the chambers he would later make his own and wept. Only once his tears had been utterly spent did he emerge, resolved to do whatever it took to rewrite the course of history, no matter the sacrifice.

Looking at the organized chaos surrounding him, one stray bit of parchment catches the Exarch’s eyes. It is half hidden beneath an open book, but he knows the half visible image on the page like the back of his crystal hand. He crouches to slip it free, standing back up only to stare longingly at the figure captured in ink. He doesn’t know how many times he has studied the drawing over the years. Recovered from Fortemps Manor, the sketch is a small portrait of the Warrior of Light, likely done by the late Alphinaud Leveilleur. He’d discovered it pressed between the pages of Heavensward, as if someone wished to put a face to the story. 

-

_ “Did you always wish to be an adventurer?” G’raha asked. He watches the warrior beside him carefully slice the mirror apple as they consider the answer to his question. _

_ “When I first arrived,” they begin, “a merchant asked me why I became an adventurer. I couldn’t answer him. I just...I’ve always felt like I’m searching for something.” _

_ “And have you found it,” he asks, genuinely curious. A small shake of the head is their answer. “Seems we are both still searching for our answers then.” _

_ G’raha accepts a slice of apple with a quick smile, only the sounds of their crunching bites interrupting the silence between them. It is a comfortable silence, made more so by warmth of the sun’s last rays slipping beneath the glittering horizon of Silvertear Lake. _

_ “How about we continue searching together?” _

_ The question catches him off guard, and he turns to find his companion watching him expectantly. Warmth floods G’raha as the suggestion registers, a desire so sudden and strong that he can hardly believe the feeling is his own. _

_ “I would like that very much,” he replies, hoping the blush he can feel is not as evident in the dying light. _

_ The radiant smile he receives in return is worth the embarrassment.  _

_ - _

The Exarch smiles sadly to himself, savoring the brief pulse of warmth the memory provokes. It is a memory he does not revisit often, colored as they are now by the knowledge that such things would never come to pass. Today he allows himself to indulge once more, letting his eyes roam over the image to take in the familiar quirked smile and the fall of hair nearly obscuring one eye. It could not have been drawn long after he sealed the Crystal Tower, but there is a slightly harder edge to the Warrior in this image. Smile a bit smaller, gaze a little dimmer with knowledge hard-won. Even still, the Exarch is sure that his friend fought to the very end. 

It is not just the tales of heroics and the awe in the voices of those who spoke of the Warrior of Light that assure him of this. It is those cherished memories of nights spent swapping stories and talking of everything and nothing of consequence, the endearing warmth of that shy smile that accompanied small gifts from their travels, little seemingly insignificant moments that made this one soul stand out amongst the rest. It is embodied by lakeside conversation and that instant of vulnerability. These same memories grounded what could easily have become hero worship as he scoured every record of the Warrior’s deeds as he sought a way to fix things. Because the Warrior is more than just Eorzea’s champion.

In moments of weakness, when he allows himself to examine his most selfish heart of hearts, he can admit that this is his true purpose. The greater good is a noble cause, but the enormity of such is difficult to grab hold of when drowning in hopelessness. When brother slaughtered brother in a mad desperate bid for survival, it would have been easy to give in to despair. It was the precious few memories of his Warrior that drove him ever forward, inspiring him to continue seeking out impossible solutions. Every life is precious, but it is this one that he treasures above all others, even his own. The 8th Umbral Calamity must be averted, on that he does not waver. But he can and will and  _ must _ do everything in his power to achieve that result while saving the Warrior of Light. 

His heart will abide no other outcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/reignofdreams) for more FF14/G'raha flailing or just to say hi :)


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